I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Michael Bay diarrhea
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
