yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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