I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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