i think my tv is drunk
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
How's work?
Spinning.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
