PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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