so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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