Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
Itβs a 10 inch dick! Of course Iβm getting a Brazilian
Randomize