My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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