I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
