It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
How's work?
Spinning.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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