my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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