So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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