whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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