I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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