Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
