Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
