She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize