You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
