operation have a gay friend backfired
why do cheetos always look like penises
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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