best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
