Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just pee around me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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