before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize