Your tits are I can't wait for
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
