Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
