I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
