youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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