That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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