Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
