Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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