What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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