5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
