barbara walters just said penis...
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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