nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
