i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize