I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
