Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
