There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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