Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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