I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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