She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
