Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
