shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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