so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
