I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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