i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
