I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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