whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
