omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
pop tarts are not kleenex
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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