all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
