I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
