belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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