Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
