fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
