Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
3 2 1 whiskey
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
