Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize