shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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