Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
