O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
The beer is more important than you right now.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
