We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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