so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
