Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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