Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize