he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
