I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
