My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize