O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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