I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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