Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
