I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
