i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
