i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
